Faqr and the Role of Parents
Faqr is the essence of religion Islam and the basis of Faqr is to ‘seek Allah’. Role of parents is very important in a child’s life. A person’s personality and his character are dependent and rooted in his childhood. The seed of a person’s thought is sown in childhood. Hence, the allure and imperfection of his character stem from the nurturing he received during his formative years. In fact, childhood is the foundation on which the edifice of life is built. If the foundation is strong, the building weathers strong winds of adverse situations.
Role Of Parents In Our Life
Parents’ role is very crucial in a child’s life. They are the first school of a child. During this crucial period everything depends upon parents. For example, correctness of beliefs, discrimination between good and evil and all the esoteric and exoteric trainings etc. When a child is born his mind is empty. Gradually, he absorbs the environment in which he is brought up. Hence, the process of character formation begins.
There is a hadith of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) about the upbringing of a child.
“The best present that parents give to their offspring is good upbringing (training).” (Mishkat: 4977)
In simple and most understandable words, training means changing the bad habits, manners and environment into good and pious habits, manners and environment. Moreover, to prepare the child psychologically, morally, practically, religiously and spiritually so that he can be successful in both religious and worldly matters.
Role Of Parents In Personality Development
Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali said:
Adopting an effective method for training children is extremely important and necessary. It is because a child is Allah’s trust in parents’ hands and the child’s heart is like a nice, clean, and simple mirror which, although, is devoid of any types of impressions or shapes, is capable of accepting the influence of all types of impressions and influences and it can be inclined towards anything you like. Therefore, if good habits are inculcated in the child and if he/she is instructed in knowledge, then the child after gaining such excellent upbringing, achieves the real success of this life and of the life hereafter. In this (success), the parents and the teachers of the child become entitled to a share in the rewards from Allah for good upbringing of the child.
On the other hand, if bad habits are inculcated (nurtured) in a child and if the child is left unhindered like animals, then he/she gets destroyed after becoming ill mannered. The burden of sin of such negligence falls on his/her guardian and caretaker. (Golden Principals of Raising Children)
Role of Mother in a Child’s Training
The beginning of a child’s training and the process of forming a way of thinking starts from the mother’s womb. What a mother thinks affects her children. The role of the mother is very important for the mental training of the child and to acquaint him with spiritual values. If the mother keeps positive thoughts, healthy and calm waves will circulate in her body and these waves will become part of the child’s mindset. Therefore, during this special period (nine months), elders advise women to have positive thoughts. They encourage them to engage in more religious activities and adopt good behavior and keep their inwards enlightened with Divine love.
As the child grows, the religious, moral and educational responsibilities of the parents increase manifold. Therefore, when the child starts to become mature, the parents should first inculcate the love of religion in the child. They should try to strengthen his esoteric relationship with Allah. Motivate him towards performing religious obligations. Parents should encourage children to have strong faith in Allah, to ponder about His great powers and majesty. They should make them realize that Allah is watching all their deeds. Along with this, parents should try to revive the spirit of presence of inward, piety and God-consciousness. Faith lies between fear and hope. Common practice is, parents only inculcate the fear of Allah in the child. Along with instilling the fear of Allah in the inward, it is also important to instill the feeling of Allah’s mercy and grace.
Role Of Parents In Education
A concerning aspect of our society is that parents overwhelmingly prioritize a child’s external education. Their efforts are dedicated to grooming them for worldly success and a prosperous future, yet they often overlook the essential aspect of nurturing their religious and spiritual development. The parents should educate the children that they are not only made of this material body made of flesh but they also have an esoteric spiritual self. The creation of man is a combination of two things, material body and soul. Self-realization, is actually the essence of religion. About this Sultan-ul-Ashiqeen Sultan Mohammad Najib-ur-Rehman says:
The crux of religion is ‘recognition of the human essence (soul) and its accomplishment’, which means recognizing the true integrity of human and trying to achieve it. In other words, we can say that self-recognition and self-mastery is religion.
In order to make them aware of the essence of religion, it is necessary to guide the children about the path of Faqr. This is because by following this path one can recognize the human essence (soul) and his true integrity.
In multiple hadiths the Holy Prophet (pbuh) mentioned Faqr.
Hadiths About Faqr
اَلْفَقْرُ فَخْرِیْ وَالْفَقْرُ مِنِّیْ
Meaning: Faqr is my pride and Faqr is from me.
اَلْفَقْرُ فَخْرِیْ وَالْفَقْرُ مِنِّی فَافْتَخِرُّبِہٖ عَلٰی سَآئِرِ الْاَنْبِیَّآئِ وَالْمُرْسَلِیْنَ
Meaning: Faqr is my pride and Faqr is from me and Faqr is the reason of my superiority over all the Prophets and Messengers.
اَلْفَقْرُ کَنْزٌ مِنْ کُنُوْزِ اللّٰہِ تَعَالٰی
Meaning: Faqr is one of the treasures of Allah.
Hence, the essence of religion is Faqr and the basis of Faqr is to ‘seek Allah’. In short, there are two parts of a child’s esoteric training:
1) Parents should encourage them to follow the path of Faqr
2) Instill in them the Love of Allah and to seek Him
Meaning thereby, teach them to worship Allah neither for the sake of attaining heaven, nor out of fear of hellfire, rather, they should worship Him because Allah alone is worthy of worship. The purpose of all acts of worship should be to seek His pleasure.
Hadith
The Holy Prophet (pbuh) said:
- The (pleasure of) world is forbidden for the seekers of hereafter, (pleasure of) hereafter is forbidden for the seekers of the world whereas (the pleasures of) the world and the hereafter both are forbidden for the seekers of Allah. One, who finds Allah, finds everything.
Qudsi Hadith
- The seeker of world is an intersex, the seeker of hereafter is a female and the seeker of Allah is a male.
Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra) says:
- I do not worship Allah for the desire of heaven or out of the fear of hell. I worship Allah because only He is worthy of worship.
Parents’ Role on the Path of Faqr
The present era is full of chasing inner lusts and materialism. During such circumstances, it is very challenging for parents to guide their children towards the teachings of Faqr. To be successful in both the worlds, parents should try to inculcate the thought in children that why Allah has created them? Why He has sent us to this world? Why does man has the status of being “best among all creations”?
In fact, Allah has created us to achieve a goal that is to gain the blessing of Divine vision. So, parents should inculcate in their children the quest for Divine vision. They should always help them in choosing the right path to achieve this goal. Reason thereby, only those have quest for Divine vision who desire to seek Allah.
What is Faqr ?
According to the teachings of Sultan Bahoo (ra), Faqr is the only Divine path through which a seeker of Allah gets the honour of Divine vision. He says:
- Faqr is the knowledge of Divine vision. (Ain-ul-Faqr)
- Bahoo who is a Fakir exhorts that whoever wants to have Divine vision and proximity must acquire Faqr which is the way of invocation, meditation, love and gnosis of Allah. (Ain-ul-Faqr)
- You must know that all the Prophets requested Faqr but their wish was not granted. Faqr was completely bestowed upon Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) who entrusted it to his umma. This Faqr of Prophet Mohammad is his pride. Faqr is the ultimate beneficence. (Ameer-ul-Kaunain)
Search for the Spiritual Guide
There is a guide for every path and the guide of Divine Path Faqr is the Perfect Spiritual Guide. By the beneficence of his spiritual attention and guidance the desire to seek Allah enlivens in the heart of a seeker. Hence, he learns the reality of faith. Moreover, perfect spiritual guide purifies his self and strengthens his soul. Thus, he achieves the destination of Divine vision.
If we keenly observe the lives of pious and distinguished Saints, we come to know that they sought the perfect spiritual guide of their time and beneficence of his company. They did this under the special guidance and training of their parents.
Example from the Life of Sultan Bahoo
We can learn the same lessons from the sacred life of Sultan Bahoo. Despite being stationed at the highest spiritual level, his mother Bibi Rasti (ra) encouraged him to find a perfect spiritual guide.
Sultan-ul-Ashiqeen Sultan Mohammad Najib-ur-Rehman quoted this in his famous book Sultan Bahoo as:
After being blessed with the spiritual benevolence from the Holy Prophet, Sultan Bahoo returned home and told his mother about his experience. On hearing the incident she said: Now you should take oath of allegiance physically at the hand of a perfect spiritual guide.
Importance of Perfect Spiritual Guide on the Path of Faqr
To explain the importance of perfect spiritual guide, Sultan-ul-Ashiqeen says:
No one has ever attained Sainthood or gnosis and vision of Allah without the spiritual training of a perfect spiritual guide. Al-Ghazali became renowned after he left teaching the religious lessons to experience mystical states under the spiritual guidance of Shaikh Fadl ibn Mohammad al-Farmadi. Similarly, Rumi became legendary after coming in servitude of his spiritual teacher Shams of Tabriz. Likewise, Iqbal became a famous Sufi poet after he received spiritual beneficence from Rumi. In short, no one has ever reached Allah in history without a spiritual guide.
The crux of the discussion is that parents should pay special attention to help their children to find a perfect spiritual guide who could lead them on the Divine path of Faqr.
Guidance about training of children in Sura Luqman
The Holy Quran is the Divine book which Allah revealed for the guidance of mankind. It provides guidance for every field of life. In Sura Luqman of the Holy Quran, three basic principles of a child training are given. Those are basically some advices of Prophet Luqman which he gave to his son about leading a successful life, the details of which are given below.
First Advice of Prophet Luqman to his Son
Allah says:
وَ اِذۡ قَالَ لُقۡمٰنُ لِابۡنِہٖ وَ ہُوَ یَعِظُہٗ یٰبُنَیَّ لَا تُشۡرِکۡ بِاللّٰہِ ؕؔ اِنَّ الشِّرۡکَ لَظُلۡمٌ عَظِیۡمٌ ﴿۱۳﴾
Meaning: And (recall) when Luqman said to his son as he was advising him: ‘O my son, do not set up partners with Allah. Verily, associating partners with Allah is a very grave injustice.’ [31: 13]
According to this verse, first of all parents should teach the lesson of Oneness of Allah Almighty to their children. As Allah Himself says in the Holy Quran:
قُلۡ ہُوَ اللّٰہُ اَحَدٌ ۚ﴿۱﴾
Meaning: (O Esteemed Messenger!) Proclaim: ‘He is Allah, Who is the One.’ [112- 1]
رَبُّ الۡمَشۡرِقِ وَ الۡمَغۡرِبِ لَاۤ اِلٰہَ اِلَّا ہُوَ فَاتَّخِذۡہُ وَکِیۡلًا ﴿۹﴾
Meaning: He is the Lord of the east and the west. There is no God but He. So take Him alone as (your) Guardian. [73: 9]
Meaning of Oneness of Allah in Faqr
In Faqr, Oneness of Allah Almighty means that Allah is one and the same in both essence and attributes. Whereas, the meaning of polytheism is to consider someone equal to Allah in attributes and essence. It also includes to turn towards someone other than Allah or to chase the desires and lusts of innerself.
Allah says:
اَرَءَیۡتَ مَنِ اتَّخَذَ اِلٰـہَہٗ ہَوٰىہُ ؕ ﴿ۙ۴۳﴾
Meaning: Have you seen him who has taken the desire of his lower self as god? [25: 43]
The Holy Prophet (pbuh) said:
- There is safety in Oneness and in abundance there are calamities.
The key point regarding the teaching of Oneness of Allah is when parents guide them, this process should not be only verbal, but they should teach them to break all idols of self other than Allah. Likewise, they should make them aware that instead of always chasing the desires of the self, our main focus should be to attain the pleasure of Allah. Similarly, parents should guide them to become a true believer and remove every thought other than Allah.
Allah says:
قَالَتِ الۡاَعۡرَابُ اٰمَنَّا ؕ قُلۡ لَّمۡ تُؤۡمِنُوۡا وَ لٰکِنۡ قُوۡلُوۡۤا اَسۡلَمۡنَا وَ لَمَّا یَدۡخُلِ الۡاِیۡمَانُ فِیۡ قُلُوۡبِکُمۡ ؕ وَ اِنۡ تُطِیۡعُوا اللّٰہَ وَ رَسُوۡلَہٗ لَا یَلِتۡکُمۡ مِّنۡ اَعۡمَالِکُمۡ شَیۡئًا ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰہَ غَفُوۡرٌ رَّحِیۡمٌ ﴿۱۴﴾
Meaning: The Bedouins say: ‘We have believed.’ Say: ‘You have not believed. Rather say: We have accepted Islam. And the belief has not yet gone into your inwards. If you obey Allah and His Messenger (pbuh), He will not decrease anything (in reward) for your deeds. Surely, Allah is Most Forgiving, Ever-Merciful.’ [49: 14]
Role of Murshid in Faqr
Sultan Bahoo (ra) says:
Perfect Murshid is the one who takes the seeker to the realm of Divine Oneness and returns him to the “emanation point”. What is the “emanation point?” It is the point where the Nur (of Mohammad) initially was separated from Allah. Listen with true devotion! Only the perfect Murshid can guide the seeker to the emanation point and grants him immortality. (Ain-ul-Faqr)
From the teachings of Faqr of Sultan Bahoo, we learn that the real Tawhid or Oneness is to rise to the level of Mohammadan Nur. Moreover, all other ranks and stations are duality. Only a perfect and accomplished spiritual guide can save a seeker from the greatest sin of esoteric and exoteric polytheism and take him to the realm of Divine Oneness.
Second Advice of Prophet Luqman to his Son
Allah says:
یٰبُنَیَّ اِنَّہَاۤ اِنۡ تَکُ مِثۡقَالَ حَبَّۃٍ مِّنۡ خَرۡدَلٍ فَتَکُنۡ فِیۡ صَخۡرَۃٍ اَوۡ فِی السَّمٰوٰتِ اَوۡ فِی الۡاَرۡضِ یَاۡتِ بِہَا اللّٰہُ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰہَ لَطِیۡفٌ خَبِیۡرٌ ﴿۱۶﴾
Meaning: (Luqman said:) ‘O my son, if there is a thing equal to the grain of a mustard seed (hidden) inside a rock or in the heavens or in the earth, (even then) Allah will bring it forth (for reckoning on the Day of Judgment). Surely, Allah is the Subtle Knower of the minutest matters, All-Aware and Most Vigilant (as well). [31: 16]
According to this advice, one should have faith in the power of Allah, All-Aware and Most Vigilant. Moreover, Allah is well aware of all our deeds, whether done in the presence of anyone or alone. Hence, He knows the good or bad thoughts hidden in our hearts. Therefore, His servant should always remain humble and sincere in His holy court.
In fact, only those can have faith in Allah who have passed through the way-stations of Divine nearness and Marifa. Only then one can believe that Allah is watching him and He is the one who raises, makes one sit down, sleep, wake up and feed. It is very easy to say all this verbally, but it is very difficult task to accept it from heart which is possible only after Divine observation. When after Divine observation, a person of pure and sincere inward accepts Allah as the Lord of the hidden and the manifest, the first and the last and the Lord of the earth and the sky, only then he attains firm belief in His powers and only then he can be able to call Him the Lord of the Universe.
Third Advice of Prophet Luqman to his Son
Allah says:
یٰبُنَیَّ اَقِمِ الصَّلٰوۃَ وَ اۡمُرۡ بِالۡمَعۡرُوۡفِ وَ انۡہَ عَنِ الۡمُنۡکَرِ وَ اصۡبِرۡ عَلٰی مَاۤ اَصَابَکَ ؕ اِنَّ ذٰلِکَ مِنۡ عَزۡمِ الۡاُمُوۡرِ ﴿ۚ۱۷﴾
Meaning: O my son! Establish salat and enjoin to have gnosis and forbid evil, and patiently endure every suffering that touches you. Verily, these are matters of great courage and high resolve. [31: 17]
Two things are mentioned in this blessed verse: First, to establish salat, and secondly, to encourage people towards marifa and forbid evil deeds, and to be patient with whatever consequences arise from this action.
In more than fifty verses of the Holy Quran Allah Almighty orders to establish salat. This is because salat is the best form of all acts of worship. The one who establishes the five obligatory salats by fulfilling all its rules and regulations will be in the protection of Allah and will have Him as his companion.
Hadith
There is a hadith about the importance of salat:
- Salat is the pillar of Islam, whoever refuses to offer it, ruins his religion.
At another place Prophet Mohammad said:
- “Salat is the key to paradise”. (Masnad Ahmad: 575, Tirmidi: 4)
He also said:
- “Whoever leaves Salat intentionally commits infidelity.” (Sahih ibn Hibban)
Salat and the Role of Parents
The Holy Quran teaches us to establish salat. Therefore, parents should teach their children to establish salat regularly. Along with this, they should also teach them which salat is acceptable in the court of Allah. Presence of inward is the essence of salat. A person may perform the salat according to any jurisprudence, but the essence of salat is presence of inward.
Allah says:
قَدۡ اَفۡلَحَ الۡمُؤۡمِنُوۡنَ ۙ﴿۱﴾ الَّذِیۡنَ ہُمۡ فِیۡ صَلَاتِہِمۡ خٰشِعُوۡنَ ۙ﴿۲﴾
Meaning: Certainly, the believers have attained their goal. Those who become most humble and submissive in their Prayers. [23: 1-2]
The Holy Prophet said about salat:
- There is no salat without the presence of inward.
- Salat is the Miraj of a true believer.
Sultan-ul-Faqr II Hasan of Basra said:
- The Salat which is offered without the presence of inward is near to torments of hell.
Why Mohammadan Umma is Superior To Other Ummas?
In the second part of the above mentioned verse, Prophet Luqman advised to enjoin people towards marifa and Divine nearness and forbid evil. Hence, this is very important duty that Allah Almighty has assigned to the Muslim umma. Therefore, it is as important as prayer, fasting, and zakat. Gnosis of Allah is basic reason behind the creation of human beings. Thus, to enjoin Marifa and forbid evil is the main reason of the superiority of Mohammadan umma over other ummas. Allah says:
کُنۡتُمۡ خَیۡرَ اُمَّۃٍ اُخۡرِجَتۡ لِلنَّاسِ تَاۡمُرُوۡنَ بِالۡمَعۡرُوۡفِ وَ تَنۡہَوۡنَ عَنِ الۡمُنۡکَرِ وَ تُؤۡمِنُوۡنَ بِاللّٰہِ ؕ ﴿۱۱۰﴾
Meaning: You are the best community (Allah has) brought forth for (the guidance of) mankind you enjoin to have marifa and forbid evil acts and believe in Allah. [3: 110]
It is a sad reality that most of us even don’t understand the real meaning of amr bil ma’roof. Most of the time people translate it as “order to do good deeds”. Moreover, they limit good deeds to physical acts of worship and to fulfill the rights of humans. In fact, this is a small representation of this duty. The word ma’roof is derived from word ta’aruf (introduction/ knowing someone) and its meaning is “to recognize”. Hence, amr bil ma’roof means to persuade others to attain Marifa and recognition of Allah.
Role of Parents While Performing the Most Important Duty of Amr Bil Ma’roof
In short, it is very important for the parents to understand the real meaning of this duty and to instruct their children as well. Moreover, they should also try to prevent other people from doing evil deeds. These are no doubt matters of great courage because they may face difficulties and criticism. Moreover, in order to recognize Allah and to attain His Marifa, it is compulsory to pledge allegiance to the perfect spiritual guide.
If parents grow up their children according to the above three advices of Prophet Luqman, then their children will not only be successful in religious and worldly life, but will also become a source of continuous charity for the parents.
Role of Parents to Promote Correct Teachings of Faqr
In our society, the increasing sectarianism, religious bigotry, and group divisions are primarily due to the lack of moral, spiritual, and religious upbringing of children. It is the responsibility of parents to provide awareness about correct beliefs for both religious and worldly success. Having misconceptions about the honor of the Holy Prophet, the Companions, and the Saints can lead to a loss of faith.
Faqr and Fake Scholars
The greatest fitna of this age which is destroying the youth badly is that anyone who has even a very small knowledge about religion is becoming a religious scholar and preaching wrong ideas and beliefs. It is as if everyone has started his own school of thought. Such scholars, without authentic research, are making religious videos and uploading them on social media platforms like YouTube, Facebook and Instagram etc. They are doing all these only to increase their followers and to earn money. Due to lack of proper knowledge about religion, the innocent children can easily be trapped by these videos and they can go astray from the right path.
Our youth has little time to do research. Most of the times they rely on watching videos or reading articles on internet and think that these articles or videos are based on real teachings of Islam. Whereas, it is very difficult for them to differentiate between right and wrong information. If parents take the responsibility of guiding their children towards correct beliefs, only then we can save our young generation from such fraudulent and fake scholars.
Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents to guide them about the essence of religion, the Mohammadan Faqr. When children already have a correct picture of religion, beliefs and ideology in their minds, they will be able to avoid such “Trap” and will be able to distinguish between right and wrong beliefs very easily.
Concluding Thoughts
Let’s try to bring up our children in the pure and spiritual company of Sultan-ul-Ashiqeen Sultan Mohammad Najib-ur-Rehman, the perfect spiritual guide of present era. For this purpose, attend Sufi gathering “Bazm-e-Sultan-ul-Ashiqeen” which is held every Sunday at Masjid-e-Zahra and Khanqah Sultan-ul-Ashiqeen, Village Rangilpur Sharif, Lahore. In these spiritual gatherings Sultan-ul-Ashiqeen spiritually enlightens everyone without discrimination. Separate arrangements are made for female disciples. We pray to Allah to give us strength to train our children according to the real principles of Islam. Amen
Faqr is the essence of religion Islam and the basis of Faqr is to ‘seek Allah’. In multiple hadiths the Holy Prophet (pbuh) told about Faqr.
اَلْفَقْرُ فَخْرِیْ وَالْفَقْرُ مِنِّیْ
Meaning: Faqr is my pride and Faqr is from me.
اَلْفَقْرُ فَخْرِیْ وَالْفَقْرُ مِنِّی فَافْتَخِرُّبِہٖ عَلٰی سَآئِرِ الْاَنْبِیَّآئِ وَالْمُرْسَلِیْنَ
Meaning: Faqr is my pride and Faqr is from me and Faqr is the reason of my superiority over all the Prophets and Messengers.
اَلْفَقْرُ کَنْزٌ مِنْ کُنُوْزِ اللّٰہِ تَعَالٰی
Meaning: Faqr is one of the treasures of Allah.
Parents’ role is very crucial in a child’s life. They are the first school of a child. During this crucial period everything depends upon parents e.g. the correctness of beliefs, discrimination between good and evil and all the esoteric and exoteric trainings etc. When a child is born his mind is empty, he absorbs the environment in which he is brought up and accordingly the process of character formation begins.
There is a hadith of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) about the upbringing of a child.
- “The best present that parents give to their offspring is good upbringing (training). (Mishkat: 4977)
Comments (24)
A very good article. I wish I knew this long back!
Great article. It is ever more important that parents pay attention to their children’s spiritual upbringing.
💖💗💗
Very beautiful ❤️ and informative article
The present era is full of chasing inner lusts and materialism. During such circumstances, it is very challenging for parents to guide their children towards the teachings of Faqr.
Faqr is the knowledge of Divine vision. (Ain-ul-Faqr)
I like this artical
Such a great and very informative article
Indeed parents must train their child spiritually
Very informative article must read this
it is the responsibility of parents to guide children about the essence of religion, the Mohammadan Faqr
Nice article
Faqr is the essence of religion Islam and the basis of Faqr is to ‘seek Allah’.
👍👍👍
Qudsi Hadith
The seeker of world is an intersex, the seeker of hereafter is a female and the seeker of Allah is a male.
The Holy Prophet said about salat:
There is no salat without the presence of inward.
Salat is the Miraj of a true believer.
Sultan-ul-Faqr II Hasan of Basra said:
The Salat which is offered without the presence of inward is near to torments of hell.
There is a hadith of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) about the upbringing of a child.
“The best present that parents give to their offspring is good upbringing (training).” (Mishkat: 4977)
Hadiths About Faqr
اَلْفَقْرُ فَخْرِیْ وَالْفَقْرُ مِنِّیْ
Meaning: Faqr is my pride and Faqr is from me.
We pray to Allah to give us strength to train our children according to the real principles of Islam. Amen
Very informative article
مرشد ملے سب کج ملدا
در مرشد دا پا لے بندیا
در مرشد دا خانہ کعبہ
حج ہزاراں بنا لے بندیا
“The best present that parents give to their offspring is good upbringing (training).” (Mishkat: 4977)
Very good article